His and Hers: A Youth Leader Couple's Perspective on Marriage

Bob and Cyndi Myers

BOB

Looking back on more than three decades of marriage gives us pause to reflect on God’s gift of marriage. I confess that as a young man there were many times when I wished that I could see into the future and know just what lay ahead for me. I guessing that sometimes you might think that, too.

We know couples who are happy in marriage, couples who are unhappy in marriage, singles who are happily single, and singles who are discontented in their single state.

So, would it be a good thing to be able to see decades into the future? Would it lead to a sense of peace or a sense of despair?

The popular culture will always try to describe norms of behavior or shape your view of what is important in dating or in marriage. Very often these influences on behavior simply boil down to personal appearance, popularity and social status.

Each person, each couple, is unique in many ways, and yet each are the same in that they are given to live out the vocation that the Lord has given them.

CYNDI

As a young woman I dreamed of someday meeting that one person whom I could love and be loved by “til death do us part.” Not yet understanding my vocation as daughter, sister, student, co-worker and friend, it seemed there was something more I wanted. I was not content with what I had and with whom God had made me to be.  I thought I would be happier if I were smarter, prettier, and thinner, had a more prestigious job, a handsome and popular boyfriend, etc.  The Lord tells us to be content in Him and trust that God will provide all that we need. Amazingly, God’s love is so great that He also gives us 
gifts we don’t even ask for.

In 1980, I was very content with my life and being single. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, which included going to church (or not), visiting my parents (or not), serving my neighbor (or not). One day a friend and co-worker approached me and began telling me about a guy her spouse worked with. She said, “You guys would be perfect for each other” so she asked my permission to set us up on a blind date to meet at their home for dinner. We all laughed, talked, ate, and just had a great time. That evening, my blind date asked to see me again, and we dated for several months. All the while, I never thought: This is the one.

BOB

Thanks be to God for the gift of His Holy Word! His Word points us to what it is that we should consider important. We can see that it is considered important to be equally yoked, and by that I mean man and woman alike under the yoke of Jesus. Christ is the one who said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” But I would further advise you to consider what that means within the world of believers. It can be quite difficult if one person is from a church body that joyfully receives the Sacraments and the other person is from a tradition that disregards the Sacraments and even goes so far as to deny the effective work of God in them. For these reasons it is important that you consider these things when you choose a person to date and even more so when you consider the possibility of marriage.

The Lord has promised to give us everything we need (2 Peter 1:3). We do not necessarily receive everything we want. We daily sin much, and often are not content with what we have been given, yet we have a Father in heaven who delights in giving good things to those who ask Him (Matthew 7:11).

God alone supplies all that we need to sustain this body and life. He has provided a perfectly created order, and a picture of this relationship is described in Ephesians 5. Read the Table of Duties in Luther’s Small Catechesis and hear what it says to husbands, wives, youth, parents, and children.

So while you haven’t been promised, and you’re most likely not going to get a sign from above in the form of a halo of shimmering light over “Mr. or Miss Right,” you have been given the promise of eternal life, the assurance that He cares for us, and the historical fact that He gave Himself up for us.

In Christ we are never alone. God has promised “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

CYNDI

God chose this man to give to me through the gift of holy matrimony and on April 7, 1981 we were joined by God at His altar. I could not have imagined all that He would bless us with. Throughout 33 years of marriage, we have been through good times and bad but looking back, the hardest times were the ones that made our marriage stronger. Keeping Christ as our focus helped us to grow in our faith and in our marriage.

God has blessed us in more ways than we could have ever thought to ask for, two children, two grandchildren, steady employment, a home, a faithful church and pastor, opportunities to serve our neighbors, good health and so much more.

God gave me the perfect spouse—the one He created for me!

But we are chosen by Him and made perfect through His son Jesus Christ and THAT is the greatest gift of all!

Bob and Cyndi Myers live in Milton, Florida and worship at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Pensacola. When they are not busy being parents and grandparents, Bob, a retired Navy Mustang, is a truck driver and Cyndi is a travel agent for the military. Both greatly enjoy working with youth at church, particularly in catechesis. They can be reached at myers.w.robert@gmail.com (Bob) and navwif@gmail.com (Cyndi).

Created: May 20th, 2014